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Topp Twins

The credits for this show read, "Written, Performed and Produced by Jools and Lynda Topp"; the Topp Twins. They are well-known Kiwi music and comedy entertainers.  Michael Hurst appeared (in 2000) in their half-hour situational farce filled with satire and broad physical comedy. Jools and Lynda play several sets of characters, both male and female.

This episode is about the Ransbottom Country Club (and its efforts to achieve "international standard"), and the adjacent Ladies' Bowling Club (home of the "Velma Watson Memorial Tea Urn").  The Ransbottom members eagerly await the expiration of the bowling club's lease so they can buy the club and get the lady bowlers out of the neighborhood.  However, the bowling club ladies, led by Camp Mother ("the lady in pink"), are not giving up without a fight.  But the only way they can come up with enough money to buy the club themselves is if Camp Mother can win the Ransbottom Million Dollar Celebrity Invitational.  Unfortunately, she can't golf, but the lady bowlers plot ways to cheat, helping Camp Mother and sabotaging other players.

Michael plays himself as one of the celebrity golfers--the only characters in the show that escape the Topp's lampoon.  He is shown "enjoying" the joys of celebrity, primarily the ever-helpful Hospitality Girls that the Country Club has saddled him with.


(who's making all that noise, interrupting my swing?)

Raelene:  "Hi, Mikey.  I'm Raelene and this is Brenda".
"Yeah, we're the Hospitality Girls from the golf tournament.  If you need anything, just give us a call, allright?  And we mean anything!"


(a good putt fails to fall because the cup has been sabotaged)

Brenda:  "Hey, your ball's popped out".

Brenda:  "Hey, Mikey, I think you're a little bit too tight; you've just got to loosen up a little bit".

Brenda:  "Yeah, I'll hold the shaft; that'll help you, ok?  Relax!"

Raelene:  "Play it where  it lies, big fellah".

(haven't these women ever heard of personal space?!?)

Camp Mother wins it! The Ladies' Bowling Club is saved.

(rescued at last!)

Brenda:  "Aw. After all we've done for him, we didn't even get a pash, Raelene !"
Raelene: "I wouldn't worry about it, Brenda.  I wouldn't be seen dead with a celebrity who's just lost a million bucks".
Brenda:  "Yeah. Let's go get a pie.  Loser!"

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